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Hi, Today's is a long sporadic but it's a good one. I think. Or it sucks, I dunno, but I had fun writing it. When was the last time you were picked on by a bully? Heckled? I thought I was done with that shit after that dude Roberto who used to beat me up in sixth grade wound up in jail for dropping a rock onto a moving car from an overpass. But no, it happened again yesterday. This jock guy was picking on me like I was twelve. Specifically, it was Jason Wolfe, CEO of MyCoupons.com/DirectResponse.com. What I'm about to tell you is the true, accurate, non-embellished story. In case you don't believe me, I encourage and implore you to ask Mr. Wolfe yourself for his side of the story. He can be reached at jason@directresponse.com, or more conveniently on his cell phone at 412-425-3445. ...think he needs some magazine subscriptions? i've just finished signing him up for the Marines... Semper Fi, Jason! Anyway, here's what happened. I was here in NYC speaking at this online marketing tradeshow called AdTech. Specifically, I was helping out my friends at ClickSquad.com with their presentation. So Andy from ClickSquad does his shtick, selling his wares in front of the full crowd of about 50 people in the conference section of the tradeshow floor. He then introduces me, as I'm supposed to talk and give examples from my book about companies that squandered money on failed marketing ideas. As soon as Andy introduces me, this meathead-looking dude standing to the side wearing a green monogrammed polo shirt starts to "boo" me. I notice that he's standing next to two or three other frat boys, all wearing the same green shirt. The normal people in the room are politely applauding my introduction, and this guy is booing. So I walk up with a copy of my book in hand. I open with, "hey look, the green shirts are booing me. They must be in my book!" Everyone laughs. Except this idiot in the green shirt. "It's all lies!" he shouts. "EVERYTHING YOU WRITE ABOUT, IT'S ALL MADE-UP LIES!" At this point, random people around the tradeshow are wondering what the hell is happening and a large crowd starts to form around the speaking area, around the filled seats. "LIES!! STORIES!!" he shouts like he has Turrets or something. "He's right," I say to the crowd. "Everything on my website and in my book, I made it all up." Figuring that would shut him up, I continued as planned. I'm introducing myself to the audience for a minute or two - he starts back up, heckling. "IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ALL THESE COMPANIES WENT OUT OF BUSINESS!!!" "What?" I asked. He repeats his claim, yelling even louder. At this point, everyone in the tradeshow has moved over to the speaking area, a few hundred onlookers. The green-shirted asshole moves really close to me, separated only by the velvet ropes around the podium. "I'd love to take credit for the downfall of all these dot-com companies," I said. "I really would. But I think it has more to do with superbowl ads, $800 chairs, $1 million launch parties, and more generally, the fact that most of the companies in my book went out of business because they didn't make enough money." I go on to give examples of companies going out of business that were clearly "my fault". For example, Pets.com and their multi-million-dollar superbowl ads. Furniture.com spending more money to ship items than they were making from them. DigiScents spending $20 million so you could *smell* websites. Hell, I'd like to take personal credit for Enron and Worldcom while we're at it. You get the point, and so did the audience. Mister green-shirt's face is turning purple, clearly realizing that he's waged a losing battle. Guys like Mr. Wolfe aren't exactly known for their intellectual prowess or debating expertise, if ya know what I mean... You have to realize, at this point I had no idea who this freak was or what his problem was. At one point I thought maybe he was mentally handicapped so I felt bad arguing with him in front of all these people. So I continue with the presentation. Thirty-seconds later, "YOU POSTED COPYWRITED INFORMATION ABOUT MY COMPANY!!!" he screams loudly. "You have a company?" I asked, figuring he has an ice cream route or something.
"I'm the founder and CEO of MyCoupons.com!" he exclaimed proudly, like the fat kid who finished all his pie.
"You posted copywrited information on your website!" he yelled again, making sure the crowd could hear him. Apparently he didn't realize that everyone thought he was nuts.
So that's all.. thanks for reading. There are some pretty juicy "fucks" and memos this week too, some of the highlights are below. |